Ever get curious about online dating? I mean really - I work hard, I am a single mom and I'm always connected so it just made sense to try it... I am still trying to convince myself that it was a good idea.
So you pick an online dating site and start by creating a profile for yourself. First of all, what most people do no realise is the 90% of the online dating sites are actually linked and all the profiles end up in the same database. You answer a whole bunch of questions about yourself, you have say how honest you've been in answering those (hmmm), you load a photo or two (more about that later) and you're all set to start dating. Most of these sites market themselves as being free to register on - yes, you can register for free, but if you want any form of interaction then you'll have to pay.
So, you're new on the site and immediately you get a prime positioning - suddenly you get hundreds of views on your profile and the messages start pouring in - from one-liners telling you that you're pretty, to elaborate 20-page essays about the person's life history (usually a copy and paste scenario). So you start working though each message, looking at the individual's profile, photos and then eventually responding if you wish to. Now the information in the profile is pretty in-depth, ranging from hair colour to body shape, to whether you have body art, piercings and your religion. Of course everyone says that they are "extremely honest" in their profile - I beg to differ.
Mr "I only want a supermodel by my side" turns out to be Frankenstein's monster; Mr "I dislike tattoos" is covered by the stuff, but believes in double standards; Mr "I'm athletic" looks as though he has swallowed a whole cow in the last 24 hours - and best of all Mr "Don't bother contacting me if you don't have a profile pic" has hidden his so that no one can see his true colours.
So you strike up a couple of conversations with a couple of individuals, and suddenly playful banter turns into the third degree - right who are you, where are you from, what do you do, what do you earn, etc etc - quite high maintenance if you ask me. You might not like what you hear or see (eventually when he opens up his pic) and you politely move on to the next conversation. Or you might actually like him and agree to go on a date.
Now, as a single mom this can be quite daunting. Put me in front of an audience to speak about tech and telecoms and I am in my element. One-on-one on a "date" - aaarrrggghhh I want to run for the hills. But you agree nevertheless. Now you've seen each other in your photos on the site - and I naively regularly update mine as I regularly change my hair colour and style and I thought the purpose of having the pics was to show what you look like - now. You arrive at the restaurant - look around and he's nowhere to be seen. By now you have probably exchanged phone numbers and you take out your phone to sms him to see if he's running late when a waving hand catches your eye. You look behind you - surely this cannot be your date, because his online pic looked completely different to what you're seeing now. But he carries on waving and then the penny drops - of course he's waving at you - your pic is actually recent, so he recognises you! The rest of the date might go well, might not - you might even fake a call on your cell to get out of there. But what is the whole point of this story?
I believe the jury is still out on this online dating thing. I know of 3 individuals who have met people online and have ended up getting married to those individuals. So they swear high and low that this is the route for someone like me to go. I on the other hand seem to have been dealt a nasty online blow. I either get guys that are 10 years younger than I am hitting on me, or those that are older than my father. Married men, guys who prefer to be the ones wearing the fishnet stockings and spiky heels or absolute stalkers who do not understand the meaning of the word "NO" - thank goodness for the "block" button.
Which leads me to a question. Online dating is meant to allow you to "date" someone, in the comfort of your home, with the opportunity for you to be yourself - am I the only idiot who actually believes that? Or has it become an absolute online masquerade? It's a pity that something which is meant to fulfill a specific purpose for a specific audience has been taken over by people who don't actually take it seriously enough to even say how tall they really are.
And this attitude seems to be spreading across other media - just a week ago, I changed my Facebook profile pic. I got a phenomenal amount of compliments, which obviously felt good, but these were matched by a similar number of friend requests from people I have never met, who don't share any friends, but who believe that if we both like Top Gear it is reason for us to be friends on FB and that I will actually share my personal details with them. It absolutely blows my mind - the lengths some people will go to.
And after all of that it might just be that going the traditional route is best. Who knows - maybe I'm just looking in all the wrong places...
